November 19, 2012

• Oh deer~

  We have entered the season of the rut.  The rut is when white-tailed deer mate and produce the next crop of cute but annoying critters that eat everything you wish they wouldn't.

  A fan of Bambi, I am not.  More on that later....

  But in the news of the weird, here are some deer stories to pique your interest.

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  Exhibit 1:  In Whitehouse, Texas, a deer was casually eating in the front yard of the Rose home.  Joseph Rose and his friend, Cole Kellis approached the deer, thinking it was pretty tame.  Instead, the deer attacked them with it's antlers.  The men tried to make a run for it, but the deer managed to stab Rose in the ribs with it's antlers and Rose was forced to jump into the bed of his truck.  (It's Texas.  Everybody drives a truck.) 

  The deer climbed partway into the cab of the truck, put his hoofs on the front seat, and began to eat Rose's cigarettes.  (No, I am NOT making this up!)  Whether it was the nicotine high or whatever, the deer became even more aggressive and it took Wildlife officials a stun gun and the work of five men to subdue the deer.

  Lesson?  Leave the wildlife alone before it gets wilder.  Oh, and stop smoking.  It attracts mad deer.

  

   

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  Exhibit 2:  In British Columbia, an overly affectionate elk buck was driven away from a farm because he simply would not leave a cow alone.  This elk had apparently been hanging around the cattle farm for three years and decided that three years was long enough to wait.  His amour was abetted by one of the cows, who if such a thing were used to describe a cow, could best be described as a "hussy".  Several times a day, the two animals....dallied.  It got so bad that the local traffic was backing up so that travellers could ....um....experience the wonder of nature.  The elk was beginning to attract the wrong kind of attention, though, from hunters who were stalking it and watching it through scopes.  The farmer and local wildlife official decided that it was time to take action.  They sedated the bull elk, cut off his antlers to make him less attractive to the hunters, and moved him 12 miles from the farm.  The farmer, however, thinks he will be back.  Because as we all know, it's hard to keep lovers apart.

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  And finally, Exhibit 3: In Austin, Texas (what IS it about Texas???), Tom and Beth Priem thought they had a vandal problem.  Their Obama sign kept being torn up and they were determined to catch the culprit.  Turns out, it was a male deer who repeatedly attacked their sign.  Romney signs, on the other hand, were left undisturbed.  Perhaps the Republicans should change their mascot from the elephant to the deer?

  

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  I believe I offered to submit my thoughts about Bambi and his relatives.  Here's the thing.  I have a 45 minute commute through mostly wooded areas that are the homes to deer.  Deer in fields I have no problem with.  However, like the perverbial chicken, they all seem to think that they must cross the road.  Without warning.  In front of my car.  Often with tragic results.

  I have hit more than a dozen deer in the 30 years I've been commuting to work.  Most of them have been killed.  My insurance agent got to the point where he did not even ask why I was at his office, he merely asked, "Got hair?", in reference to : did I have any hair to prove that the damage was done by a deer.  I always had hair, often had guts and sometimes had hoof cuts in the metal of the car.

  I am not a fan of Bambi.  The last time one dashed out in front of me?  This morning.

  Sigh......

  • 8:28 pm
  • 7 Comments