April 21, 2014

• Competitive motherhood…

  Kids these days are either the beneficiaries or the victims of competitive motherhood.

  Let me explain.

  Being a good mother (however THAT is defined….) is a worthy endeavor.  But I have to wonder where the line is that defines the “good mother” from the “so-so mother”.  I think we can all spot the horrible mother.  (Mostly because we have been there….)

  

  The competitive mother brings the full force of her social group with her.  Play dates are approved only if the child’s parents meet the criteria of doing all they can to ensure a wonderful childhood for their child.  Their child’s social calendar is crammed with not only the obligatory sports and groups such as Scouts, but also filled with theme birthday parties, theme spring parties, theme snow parties, and so on.  Nothing seems to be random and spur of the moment, but everything is filled with cutesy props and decorations and often costumes.  Venues are chosen that are photogenic because a series of “look how much fun we are having!” images must be posted to social networks.  The children have not only been to Disney, they’ve been several times.  They also have a friend relationship with every Disney Princess.  Everyone must know that these chosen children are living the dream childhood.

  Really?

  A mother of one such younger mother and I were discussing this trend lately.  Both of us have reared smart individuals and neither of us went for all of the social posturing that seems to be so prevalent today.  We discussed the cost of all of these activities and how they seem to be escalating.

  That’s only logical, of course.  Once you’ve done the dog and pony show, you’d next better have the giraffe and elephant show.  By the time these little darlings hit the magical age of 13, I shudder to think of the magnitude of their parties.  Parachuting, anyone?

  Social media is part of what drives this:  Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, et al…..all offer quick and easy ways to get out the message that you’ve done your absolute best for your child and you have the proof.  I know individuals who have lengthy Pinterest boards for each year’s birthday theme.  I’m not sure some of these folks have planned for their children’s college as much as they’ve planned Birthday, Age 9.

  Yep, really.

  I just wonder how jaded these kiddoes are going to be when reality smacks them upside the head.

  Let’s face it.  Childhood is grand all by itself.  None of the huge responsibilities are looming over you, time is relative to what you want to do, and the IRS is not even on your radar.

  The funny thing about being 26, or 37, or 42, or 56 is that no one is throwing you a party, unless you do it yourself.  Disney is only interested in you because they can separate you from your money, and Pinterest doesn’t focus on your middle ages….

  Maybe, just maybe, what the kids really need is the freedom to be real.  As in real dirty, real tired and real in terms of entertaining themselves.

  Because the real world isn’t always very entertaining because it’s full of real work.

  

   

  • 5:34 pm
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