December 15, 2012

  • Struggling.....

    Today I struggle to find the words to express what I feel about the tragedy that happened in Newtown, CT. yesterday.

    Part of me was stunned.  Part of me was angry.  Part of me was crying.  Part of me shut down.

    I read the words online.  I read them again, unable to believe the number and the age of the victims.  I read again, hoping I had read it all wrong.

    Then I got angry.  That's probably an expected response to such a thing, but it surprised me.  I was so angered that I felt the symptoms of my blood pressure rising. 

    And then I cried.  And I will admit that I have not wept like that for a long, long time.

    Then came the numbness, the shutting down.  Unable to take one more word, image, conversation.....numb.

    Today, I am better equipped (if that is possible) to process all of this.  Today I am just sad.

    The news blares away about gun control, better mental health care, and violent entertainment.  They are missing one key ingredient.

    It's not the parents, guns, or entertainment.

    It's not arming school workers.

    It's not being more watchful.

    It's mental health.  And it is how this country treats mental health, or better, does not treat it.  There is this idea that integrating the mentally ill into all parts of society and society just has to deal with it because their aberrant behavior is a "manifestation of their disability".  They have rights which are rigorously defended by advocates and lawyers.  Society and the safety of society is secondary

    This must change before gunfire erupts yet again and the innocent among us die as collateral damage to a disability.